The original tabs to this song, I noticed, had some minor errors on it. I transcribed
the song myself, I think these are the correct tabs.
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You know what, Stuart, I LIKE YOU. You're not like the other
people, here,
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in the trailer park. Oh, don't go get me wrong. They're fine people, they're
good Americans.
F D
But they're content to sit back, maybe
F E F D F
watch a little Mork and Mindy on channel 57, maybe kick
E F D F
back a cool, Coors 16-ouncer. They're good, fine people,
E F D F
Stuart. But they don't know ... what the queers are doing
C
to the soil!
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You know that Jonny Wurster kid, the kid that delivers papers
in the neighborhood. He's a foreign kid.
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Some of the neighbors say he smokes crack, but I don't believe it.
Anyway, for his tenth birthday, all he wanted was a Burrow Owl.
[ Tab from: https://www.guitartabs.cc/tabs/d/dead_milkmen/stuart_tab_ver_2.html ]
F D F E F D
Kept bugging his old man. "Dad, get me a burrow owl. I'll never
F E F
ask for anything else as long as I live." So the guy
D F E
breaks down and buys him a burrow owl.
F D F
Anyway, 10:30, the other night, I go out in my yard, and there's
C
the Wurster kid, looking up in the tree. I say, "What are
G#
you looking for?" He says "I'm looking for my burrow owl."
A# D# G# D#
I say, "Jumping Jesus on a Pogo Stick. Everybody knows
G# D# G#
the burrow owl lives. In a hole. In the ground. Why the hell do you
D# A#
think they call it a burrow owl, anyway?" Now Stuart, do you
think a kid like that is going to know what the
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queers are doing to the soil? I first became aware of this about ten years ago,
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the summer my oldest boy, Bill Jr. died. You know that carnival comes into
town every year? Well this year they came through with a ride
called The Mixer.
F D F E F
The man said, "Keep your head, and arms, inside
D F E F D F
the Mixer at all times." But Bill Jr, he was a DAAAREDEVIL, just
E F D F
like his old man. He was leaning out saying "Hey everybody,
C
Look at me! Look at me!" Pow! He was decapitated! They found
G# A# D#
his head over by the snow cone concession.
G# D#
A few days after that, I open up the mail. And there's a pamphlet
G# D#
in there. From Pueblo, Colorado, and it's addressed to Bill, Jr.
G# D# A#
And it's entitled, "Do you know what the queers are doing to our
soil?"
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Now, Stuart, if you look at the soil around any large US city,
there's a big undeground homosexual population.
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Des Moines, Iowa, for an example. Look at the soil around Des Moines, Stuart.
You can't build on it; you can't grow anything in it. The government
F D F E F
says it's due to poor farming. But I know what's really going on,
E
Stuart. I know it's the queers. They're in it with the aliens.
F D F
They're building landing strips for gay Martians, I swear to
God.
C
You know what, Stuart, I like you. You're not like the other
F
people, here in this trailer park.
