Flight Of The Conchords - Im Not Crying Chords & Tabs

The notes written within parentheses are the bassnotes played.
1/17/08 - Fixed the chord timing in the beginning.

Spoken:
So, you’re leaving, aren’t you?
I knew it when you said just then when you told me you were leaving
That’s when I definitely knew

Cm                                            Cm                         Cm/B
But if you’re trying to break my heart, your plan is flawed from the start
                               Ab                                 Fm  
You can’t break my heart, it’s liquid, it melted when I met you
           Ab             G        Cm 
And as you turn around to leave, don’t turn back to me
Cm/B                             Ab                               Fm
Don’t turn around and see if I’m crying, I’m not crying

C              C/B                    Am
I’m not crying, it’s just been raining on my face
C                                  C/B
And if you think you see some tear tracks down my cheeks, please, 
Am
Please don’t tell my mates
C             C/B   Am
I’m not crying, no, I’m not crying
C                   C/B
And if I am crying, it’s not because of you
                 Am
It’s because I’m thinking about a friend of mine
Who you don’t know who is dying, that’s right, dying
[ Tab from: https://www.guitartabs.cc/tabs/f/flight_of_the_conchords/im_not_crying_crd.html ]
Abm                  (B)                            (D)
These aren’t tears of sadness because you’re leaving me,
                      (F#)
I’ve just been cutting onions
C   C/B      Am
I’m making a lasagna, for one
Fm          
Oh, I’m not crying, no!

C
There’s just a little bit of dust in my eye
                C/B
That’s from the path that you made when you said your goodbye
        Am
I’m not weeping because you won’t be here to hold my hand
For your information there’s an inflammation in my tear gland
C
I’m not upset because you left me this way
C/B
My eyes are just a little sweaty today
             Am
They’ve been looking around, they’re like searching for you
They’ve been looking for you, even though I told them not to

Fm                   (Ab)                      (B)
These aren’t tears of sadness, they’re tears of joy
        (D)
I’m just laughing
C     C/B   Am     Fm
Ha ha ha-ha ha

Fm
Sitting at this table called love
        Fm
Staring down at the irony of life
C                           C/B
How come we’ve reached this fork in the road
Am
And yet it cuts like a knife?

        C  C/B
I’m not crying
        Am G
I’m not crying
        F
I’m not cry-y-y-y-y
Fm      C
y-y-y-y-ing