Jon Lajoie - I Dont Understand Chords & Tabs

Track 3 on "You Want Some of This?" (2009) by Jon Lajoie.

This tab is in standard tuning. You should be able to get the strumming or just make
own variation, so it isn't tabbed. I suppose if you tuned it down half a step, which is how
suspect it is played, you could just play it with D/Bm chords. Regardless, enjoy! Not 
much of a difference. :)

Intro chord.
e|---------------------------------------------------------------------|
B|-8-------------------------------------------------------------------|
G|-8-------------------------------------------------------------------|
D|-8-------------------------------------------------------------------|
A|-6-------------------------------------------------------------------|
E|---------------------------------------------------------------------|
[ Tab from: https://www.guitartabs.cc/tabs/j/jon_lajoie/i_dont_understand_tab.html ]
I don't understand...  can somebody tell me what's going on?
e|---------------------------------------------------------------------|
B|-4---------------8----------------4---------------------8------------|
G|-5---------------8----------------5---------------------8------------|
D|-5---------------8----------------5---------------------8------------|
A|-3---------------6----------------3---------------------6------------|
E|---------------------------------------------------------------------|

Why is there a drunk Chinese man doing push-ups on my front lawn?
e|---------------------------4---------6-------------------------------|
B|-------------4-------------4---------6--------------------8----------|
G|-------------5-------------5---------7--------------------8----------|
D|-------------5-------------6---------8--------------------8----------|
A|-------------3-------------6---------8--------------------6----------|
E|---------------------------4---------6-------------------------------|

...and why's he wearing lip-stick?
e|----------------------6----------------------------------------------|
B|----------------------6----------------------------------------------|
G|----------------------7----------------------------------------------|
D|----------------------8----------------------------------------------|
A|----------------------8----------------------------------------------|
E|----------------------6----------------------------------------------|