A
Hello operator, I'd like to make a call.
A E
Can I have four double seven three one zero four?
A D
I'm sorry, sir, could you repeat that number once again?
E A
Four double seven three one zero four, did ya get it then?
A
Could you speak a little slower - four double seven's all I got.
A E
Three one zero four, are you bloody deaf or what?
A D
Look, I got the third bit, I just can't get the last.
E A
Well stick that fuckin' phone up your fuckin' arse!
[ Tab from: https://www.guitartabs.cc/tabs/k/kevin_bloody_wilson/dictaphone_crd.html ]
D A
Stick that fuckin' phone up your fuckin' arse,
B E
You're supposed to fuckin' help not make it fuckin' hard,
D A
I only want to make a call but you're just bein' smart,
A E
So you can stick that fuckin' phone up your fuckin' arse!
_______________________________________________
[The same Strumming pattern continues throughout]
-----------------------------------------------
Good morning I'm from Telecom come to disconnect the phone,
For a breach of regulations just a couple of days ago.
You upset our operator with a pretty nasty call.
What are you fuckin' on about - it was all her fuckin' fault.
Well she claims that it was all your fault, she really was distressed.
What about your customers - she upset me first.
We've got her written statement, which shortly will be read.
But it might help if you'd recall exactly what you said.
I said stick that fuckin' phone up your fuckin' arse,
You're supposed to fuckin' help not make it fuckin' hard,
I just tried to make a call but you just acted smart,
So I said stick that fuckin' phone up your fuckin' arse!
Well that's not exactly on sir, no it's just not on at all.
You must use proper ettiquite if you wish to make a call.
And please and thank you also help - you can't talk to her like that.
Please and bloody thank you, well you fuckin' tell her that!
And she knows without a telephone I'm really in the shit.
Well perhaps if you'd apoligise that just might help a bit.
Apoligise - apoligise - apoligise to who?
Just go in and ask for Operator 42.
Now the song changes key - A=G But the strumming pattern remains the
Same.
B=A
D=C
E=D
Good morning are you waiting is there something I can do?
Yes I'd like to speak to Operator 42.
Sorry, sir, I missed that, could you repeat what you just said?
OH SHIT I DON'T BELIEVE IT HERE WE FUCKIN' GO AGAIN!
Operator 42 - look I'll just write it down!
Ooh, Operator 42 - I'll see if she's around.
Jeez, they're bloody useless, I'm sure that they're all deaf,
No wonder that I did me quince, no wonder that I said:
Stick that fuckin' phone up your fuckin' arse,
You're supposed to fuckin' help not make it fuckin' hard,
I just want to make a call but you're just bein' smart,
So stick that fuckin' phone up your fuckin' arse!
___________________________
[Now the song goes back to A]
----------------------------
Now they'll make me sit around and wait all bloody day,
Just so they can make me sweat and have the final say.
That's like the public service - they make you scrape & bow,
Oh, shit she's fuckin' ugly if that's her coming now!
I'm Operator 42 - I'm busy, make it fast.
Did a bloke tell you to stick that fuckin' phone right up your arse?
Yes he did, the filthy animal, I remember now.
Well you'r better fuckin' brace yourself cause they're bringin' it around!
And you can stick that fuckin' phone up your fuckin' arse,
You're supposed to fuckin' help not make it fuckin' hard,
I just tried to make a call but you just acted smart,
So you can stick that fuckin' phone up your fuckin' arse!
Stick that fuckin' phone up your fuckin' arse,
You're supposed to fuckin' help not make it fuckin' hard,
I just tried to make a call but you just acted smart,
So you can stick that fuckin' phone up your fuckin' arse!
Thanks for reading, any comments welcome :)
