(Spoken)
OK, so I'm riding around in this car with this woman that I'm close to a couple times a
week. And I'm noticing she's looking out of the window and noticing other women, how
this one looks,Isn't her hair lovely? What a nice outfit...
I said, Babe, what is the DEAL? You're noticing all these other chicks... maybe...
you're a lesbian.
She looks at me and she says,I wish I was a lesbian.
Now, at that point I wanted to say, You mean 'you wish you were a lesbian' because,
grammatically... But I let it slide. I didn't wanna ruffle any feathers.
But, ya know, that sentence, that retort, "I wish I was a lesbian"...kinda stuck in the
ole Laud-o's mind. kinda gestated there for seven, eight minutes then this tune popped out...
[ Tab from: https://www.guitartabs.cc/tabs/l/loudon_wainwright_iii/iwiwal_crd.html ]
G
G------
I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero
G D
I wouldn't have to mess with men and all their come-and-go
G D
And all that awful facial hair and yucky "ma-chis-mo"
C G--
Ooooooo, I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero
G C
I wish I was a lesbian and that I wasn't straight
G D
I would sleep with women only; man, that would be great
G D
I could throw away my diaphragm; I wouldn't wanna mate
C G--
Ooooooo, I wish I was a lesbian and that I wasn't straight
HEY!
G
I wish I was a lesbian; I'd like to be a dyke
G D
I would hang with k.d. lang; Mel Gibson, take a hike
G C
I think it would be nice to love someone who was alike
C G
Ooooooo, I wish I was a lesbian; I'd like to be a dyke
G D
I wish I was a lesbian; that's why this song is sung
G D
It shouldn't have to matter how someone is hung
G C
Other things are more important...LIKE HOW TO USE YOR
C
TOUNGE...bablblblb
G
I wish I was a lesbian; that's why this song is sung
D (etc... to the end)
HEEEEEEY!
I dare Casey Kasem to play this
I wish I was a lesbian; I know it's sad, but true
But maybe I might understand you guys and all you do
But if I was a lesbian, I WOULDN'T HAVE TO
I wish I was a lesbian; I know it's sad, but true
Hey, I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero
I wouldn't have to mess with men and all their come-and-go
And all that awful facial hair and yucky "ma-chis-mo" (I hate that damned machismo!)
Ooooooo, I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero
I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero
I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero!
