[Link]
Am G
Hey, hey
Am
Alright
G Am
Yeah, Aww yeah
Am
My name is Link, y'all, I'm straight outta Hyrule
G Am
Been on the force o' good since 1986, old school
I'm bringin' you a laid-back summertime jam
[Old Man]
G
Hold on a minute Link!
[Link]
Am
Hey, what's up old man?
[Old Man]
Am
I see that you're embarkin' on another epic quest
G Am
You're gonna use your ocarina to rescue the princess
Am
But you'll need a magic weapon that'll never ever miss
G Am
It's dangerous to go alone, take this
[Link]
Am
Oh, thanks Old Man, that is really very nice
G Am
I can always count on you for helpful, friendly advice
Am
Though I've never seen a sword of quite that shape or size
G Am
Oh god, that's not a sword! It's your dick in disguise
[Old Man]
Am F G
Yes, I can't lie, I have painted my schween
Am F C
Now grab your destiny if you know what I mean
Am G Am
Wait a minute Link, don't leave the cave, where do you think you're going?
Am G E
This is a great chance to fondle a scrotum that you're blowing
(break)
[ Tab from: https://www.guitartabs.cc/tabs/m/misc_unsigned_bands/starbomb_its_dangerous_to_go_alone_crd.html ]
[Link]
Am
That. Was. Weird, but whatever there is no time to lose
G Am
I gotta warp on outta Zelda in this chilled out groove
Am
Wait, this isn't Ganon's lair, I'm in Liberty City
G Am
This place looks just like Philadelphia but even more shitty
Am
I'm at the corner of Dead Cop and Prostitute Junction
G Am
Something in my Ocarina must have gone and malfunctioned
Am
I gotta fix it quickly there is justice to do
[Old Man]
G
Hold on a minute Link!
[Link]
Am
Old Man, is that you?
[Old Man]
Am
This is a place you can't survive with just your sword and your wits
G Am
It's dangerous to go alone, take this
[Link]
Am
Well that's really kind o- D'aaah! That's your wrinkled dick again
G Am
Look, I know I wear a tunic but I'm not into men
[Old Man]
Am F G
Don't be that way bitch let me introduce you
Am F C
To my three best friends Mr. Johnson and the Juice Crew
Am F G
If you see the Princess Zelda, well you know you're gonna grab her
Am F E
So why don't you try to come grab my inflatable poo jabber
[Link]
OH MY GOD!
(break)
Am
I gotta warp outta here, Princess Zelda awaits
G Am
I must defeat Ganondorf before it gets too late
Am
Okay, now I really don't know where I am
[Old Man]
G
Hold on a minute Link!
[Link]
Am
God DAMN it, Old Man!
[Old Man]
Am
You're in Raccoon City, it's a zombie abyss
G Am
It's dangerous to go alone, take-
[Link]
Am
NO!
Fuck you!
Fuck you, I'm not giving you a-
G
Not touching your we-
Am (stop playing)
Stop the chilled out groove!
Jeez!
You come in here telling me you got a weewee weapon
Am G Am
It's not cool, I'm not gonna touch it, I'm not gonna splllllNO!
[Old Man]
So is that a no on the handjob or...? Okay.
