Stephen Lynch - Down To The Old Pub Instead Chords & Tabs

Down to the Old Pub Instead
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
by Stephen Lynch
from ^ÓSuperhero^Ô (2002)

Got this from another site, but the words were incomplete so i filled in the
gaps...really good song! another irish classic lol! sorry the formattings a bit
screwed but thats how i found it. Credit to: Jon Cutright

not me!

INTRO:
G ^Ö D - C ^Ö D


VERSE 1:
G                     D
Lad it^Òs your duty to find you a lass
     C                        D
with child-bearing hips and a pink supple ass
    G                     D                 C     D
And make her you wife and love her with love so true
          G                     D
Now, some rivers run high some rivers run low
         C                         D
When her river runs red then she starting her flow
         G                       D                       C    D
And it^Òs called menstruation and heres what I means to you
         Em                      C
You will notice her bloomers are spartie? At first
      G                 D
Stand back, her ovarian dams gonna burst
   Em                      C
So don^Òt be afraid it’s a natural thing
     G                      D
Just wind up some cotton and give her some string
C
Put the old linens on top of the bed
    C                        D
get out of the house and go down to the old pub

  G     D   C   D
instead.

[ Tab from: https://www.guitartabs.cc/tabs/s/stephen_lynch/down_to_the_old_pub_instead_crd.html ]
VERSE 2:
       G                     D
She^Òll retain her water her breasts will be tender
    C                         D
And every third word that you say will offend her
    G                       D                     C      D
Get out of the house and go  down to the old pub instead
           G                         D
And she^Òll want to make love if you do you’re a  fool
             C                  D
Cause you^Òll only end up with a bloody ol’ tool
    G                    D                     C      D
Get out of the house, down to the old pub instead
           Em                     C
And she^Òll want you to sample the fruit of her loins
    G                         D
But son it^Òll taste like some old rusty coins
   Em                          C
So turn off the lights boy and take off your hat
    G                         D
And drop to your knees say a prayer to st pat

     C
Then he^Òll give you the strength to get out of the bed
        C                  D
And for Ireland^Òs sake go down to the old pub

  G     D   C   D
instead.


VERSE 3:
        Em                         C
Now the pub is the place where the lads are a meeting
G                            D
When the moon^Òs full and the girls are a bleatin
    Em                        C
The catholic, the protestant even the pagan
    G                          D
The pub is the place when lady is raggin
   C
So drink of your pint boys and thank your shamrocks
        C
That as men folk we don^Òt have to bleed from our cocks
         C
And that we can escape from the lady in red
        C                       D
And get out of the house and go down to the old pub

e]------------3---
B]----------3-----
G]--------0-------
D]------0---------
A]----2-----------
E]--3-------------
  instead.