I want to have Stephen Lynch's kids! That's all there is to it!
okay, gerbil! probably worse than "Lullaby" but hey it's Lynch.
(pick the 1st verse)
A G D C
I bought a gerbil at the petting zoo
A G D C
If Richard Gere can do it, I can too.
A G D C
I get undressed and I start to lube
A G D C
I stick the gerbil in the end of the tube.
(strum the pre-chorus)
D A
Wondering just how he'll feel
D A
will he like it better than his little wheel
D A
careful now he's right beside me
D A
one more inch and he's inside me
D A D A D A D A
GO!!! Gerbil go!
(1st Chorus)
D A D A
Burrow harder, burrow deeper
D A D A
be my little chimney sweeper
D A D A
one thing I forgot about
C N/C
how am I supposed to get you out
[ Tab from: https://www.guitartabs.cc/tabs/s/stephen_lynch/gerbil_crd.html ]
(back to picking the verse)
A G D C
so now my gerbils won easy street
A G D C
it's warm and cozy and there's plenty to eat
A G D C
the situation is beyond my control
A G D C
gotta find a way to get him out of his hole.
(sturm pre-chorus)
D A
I tried crowbars I tried wires
D A
I almost hurt'em with a pair of pliers
D A
I tried cheese but he's not biting
D A
I wish this wasn't so exciting
D A D A D A D A
Go!!! Gerbil Go!!!
(2nd Chorus)
D A D A
Jesus, I am such a sucker
D A D A
Please get out you fury fuuuahhh!
D A D A
I think I am getting ill
C N/C
suddenly he's very very still
(back to picking verse)
A G D C
Now it's too late my gerbil died
A G D C
I guess I have committed gerbacide
A G D C
here's some advice it's very clear cut
A G D A G D(now strum verse chords)
if you love your gerbil...don't stick him up your butt
C A
don't stick him up your butt
little fury gerbil in your booty hole
don't stick him up your booma whomma wam
(start babbling to the music,
kind of a scat like singing) (Ha! Scat...um...nevermind)
Yeah!
(end on chord A)
any major life questions
consult the manual
there is a god, there is a plan
and the spaceship is coming!
- Maria Bamford, Comedy Central Presents
