This song is really simple
Capo on 3rd fret
E G D C
E|-0----3----2----0-|
B|-0----0----3----1-|
G|-1----0----2----0-|
D|-2----0----0----2-|
A|-2----2----X----3-|
E|-0----3----X----X-|
Verse 1:
E
All my days,
G D E
I live with my disgrace
G D E
I'm afraid to show my face
G D C
Or at least take off my underwear...
E
See I was born
G D E
Like a half way neutered pet
G D E
I don’t have a matching set
G D
It’s a part of me
C
That just aint there
Please, don’t stare
Chorus
E G
Well I’m a gambling man with out two dice
E G
I’m like Uncle Ben with only one grain of rice
E G
Oh to have two testis would be so nice
D C E
But I’m half a man
D C E
Yeah, I’m half a man
[ Tab from: https://www.guitartabs.cc/tabs/s/stephen_lynch/half_a_man_crd_ver_2.html ]
Verse2
E
Wanna die
G D E
end it all, just call it quits
G D E
I can’t find a cup that fits
G D C
And at baseball games I feel so dumb
C
When I hear “ball one?
E
Oh, my God
G D E
How could you have been so cruel
G D E
To give me one family jewel
G D C
And the one that’s there must feel so sad
C
He’s a lonely nad
Chorus 2
E G
Well I’m a marathon runner with just one leg
E G
I’m a fallopian tube with just one egg
E
Oh, I want another testi
G
Do I have to beg?
D C E
I’m half a man
D C E
Yeah, im half a man
Bridge
E..G...E...G...E...G...D...C
kinda like chorus
Chorus 3
E G
Well I’m a tweedle dee with no tweedle dum
E G
And I’m a Siskel and an Ebert with just one thumb
E G
And I’m a Yo Ho Ho with no bottle of rum
D C E
I’m just half a man
D C E
Yeah, I’m half a man
