Song: Albuquerque
Artist: Weird Al Yankovic
CD: Running With Scissors
Copyright: 1999 Volcano Entertainment
Tabbed For: Electric Guitar
Tabbed By: Tim Fehr
Ok this is one of the coolest songs I've ever heard its long but
Really funny. It dosent take a looser to play it but it takes one
To sing it. I'm not sure about any of the solos cuz their really fast
and I don't do that kinda stuff. So help would be nice.For this song you
might want to know the chords that are used. Because frankly I don't
use them that often.
F B Fm7? Bm7
E--1-- E--1-- E--1-- E--1--
B--1-- B--3-- B--1-- B--2--
G--2-- G--3-- G--1-- G--1--
D--3-- D--3-- D--1-- D--3--
A--3-- A--1-- A--3-- A--1--
E--1-- E--1-- E--1-- E--1--
E-13-13-13-13-13-13-13-13-13-13-13-8h10p8-|-------------|
B-------------|-------------|-------------|--10---------|
G-------------|-------------|-------------|-----10------|
D-------------|-------------|-------------|-------------|
A-------------|-------------|-------------|-------------|
E-------------|-------------|-------------|-------------|
F F
Way back when I was just a little bitty boy living in a box under the
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stairs in the corner of the basement of the house half a block down the
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street from Jerry’s Bait Shop… You know the place… Well anyway, back then
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life was going swell and everything was juuuuust peachy… except of course
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for the undeniable fact that every single morning my mother would make me
F F F F
a big old bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast. Daaaaaaaouh! Big bowl of
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sauerkraut!
E-13------------|
B---13p10-------|
G--------10-----| F F F F F
D---------------| Every single morning! It was driving me crazy. I said to
A---------------|
E---------------|
F F
my mom, I said, “Hey mom, what’s up with all the sauerkraut?” And my dear
F F F F
sweet mother she just looked at me like a cow looks at an oncoming train.
F F F F
And she leaned right down next to me, and she said, “It’s good for you!”
B B B B F F F F B B B
And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth
B F F F F B B B B F F
and force-fed me nothing but sauerkraut until I was twenty-six and a half
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years old. That’s when I swore that someday, someday I would get out of
F F F
that basement and travel to a magical far away place where the sun is
B F
always shining and the air smells like warm root beer and the towels are
B F B
oh so fluffy, where the shriners and the lepers play their ukulele’s all
F B
day long and anyone on the street’ll gladly shave you’re back for a
F B B B B F
nickel. Wakawakadoodoo yah! Well let me tell you people, that it wasn’t
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long at all before my dream came true because the very next day a local
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radio station had this contest to see who could correctly guess the number
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of molecules in Leonard Neroy’s butt. I was off by three but I still won
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the grand prize. That’s right a first class one-way ticket, to
F Fm7 B Bm7 F B F F Fm7 B Bm7 F B
A - lbuquerque, A - lbuquerque! Ah yah, you know I never
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been on a real airplane before and I gotta tell ya it was really great.
F F F F
Except that I had to ist between two large Albanian women with
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excruciatingly severe body odour and the little kid in back of me kept
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throwing up the whole time. The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper
F F F F
and salted peanuts and the in flight movie was "Biodome" with Polly Shore.
F
And oh yah three of the airplane's engines burned down and we went into a
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tailspin and crashed into a hillside and the plane exploded in a giant
B F F
fireball and everybody died! Except for me. You know why? ‘Cause I had my
B F B
train table up, and my seat back in the full upright position, had my
F B F B
train table up, and my seat back in the full upright position, had my
F B F B
train table up, and my seat back in the full upright position. Ah ha ha
F F F F
ha! Oh ha ha! Ahhhh. So I crawled from the twisted burnin’ wreckage, I
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crawled on my hands and knees for three full days, dragging along my big
F B F
leather suitcase, and my garment bag, and my tenor saxophone, and my
B F B
twelve-pound bowling ball and my lucky lucky autographed glow in the dark
F B B B B
snorkel. But finally a arrived at the world famous “Albuquerque Holiday
F F F
Inn”, where the towels are oh so fluffy, and you could eat you’re soup
F F
right out of the ashtrays if you wanna, it’s OK their clean. Well I
F B F
checked into my room and I turned down the AC and I turned on the spectro
B F
vision and I was just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow
B F
that I love so very very much when suddenly there’s a knock on the door.
F F F F F
Well now who could that be? I say, “who is it?” No answer. “Who is it?”
F
There’s no answer. “Who is it!?” They’re not saying anything, so finally I
F
go over and I open the door and just as I suspected, it’s some big fat
F F F
hermaphrodite with a flock of seagull’s haircut and only one nostril. Oh
F F F B
man I hate it when I’m right. So anyway he burst into my room and grabbes
my lucky snorkel and I’m like “hey, you can’t have that! That snorkel has
F F F
been just like a snorkel to me.” And he’s like “tough” And I’m like “give
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it.” And he’s like “make me.” And I’m like “k.” So I grabbed his leg and
B B F F B
he grabbed my oesophagus and I bit off his ear and he chewed off my
B F F
eyebrows and I took out his appendix and he gave me a valonic irrigation
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yes indeed you better believe it. And somehow in the middle of it all the
F F F F
phone got knocked off the hook, and twenty seconds later I heard a
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familiar voice, and you know what it said, I’ll tell you what it said, it
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said, “if you’d like to make a call, please hang up and try again. If you
F B B F B F F
need help hang up and then dial you’re operator. If you’d like to make a
B B B F F B F F B B
call, please hang up and try again. If you need help hang up and then dial
F B F Fm7 B Bm7 F B F F Fm7 B Bm7 F
you’re operator. In A - lbuquerque, A - lbuquerque! Well
F F F
to cut a long story short he got away with my snorkel. But I made a solemn
F F
vow right then and there that I would rest, I would not sleep for an
F F F F
instant until the one-nostriled man was brought to justice. But first I
F F B B
decided to buy some donuts. So I got in my car and drove over to the donut
F B F
shop and I walked right up to the guy behind the counter and he says “yah,
wadaya want?”
E-13--------11--------------11131618------------------1113-| it ain't per-
B-------------1311--------13--------1816----------1113-----| fect but it'l
G-----------------1311------------------171513--13---------| give you some
D---------------------1310--------------------15-----------| thing to do
A----------------------------------------------------------| till you fig
E----------------------------------------------------------| ure it out
F F F F
I said, “ you got any glazed donuts?” He said, “naaa were all out of
F F F F
glazed donuts.” I said, “well you got any jelly donuts?” He said, “naaa
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were all out of jelly donuts.” I said, “you got any Bavarian cream-filled
F F F F
donuts?” He said, “naaa were all out of Bavarian cream-filled donuts.” I
[ Tab from: https://www.guitartabs.cc/tabs/y/yankovic_weird_al/albuquerque_tab.html ]
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said, “you got any cinnamon rolls?” He said, “naaa were all out of
F F F F
cinnamon rolls.” I said, “you got any apple fritters!?” He said, “naaa
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were out of apple fritters.” I said, “you got any bear claws!!?” He said,
“wait a minute, I’ll go check.
E------------------------------------------------16-16-18-16-18-18b-|
B-18v----------------------------------------19-19-18---------------|
G------------------------------19-19-21-19-21-21--------------------|
D-----15v---------19-19-21-19-21-21---------------------------------|
A---------19h20h21--21----------------------------------------------|
E-------------------------------------------------------------------|
E-18-16-16-------------------|
B--------18-16-16------------|
G-------------18-18-15-15----|
D---------------------18-18--|
A-------------------------15-|
E----------------------------|
F F F
Naaa were out of bear claws.” I said, “well in that case, in that case
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what do you have?” He said, “all I’ve got right now is this box of one
E-24b\-|
B------|
dozen starving crazed weasels.”G------| I said, “OK I’ll take that.” So he
D------|
A------|
E------|
F B F
hands over the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out and they
B F
immediately latch onto my face and start biting me all over ayiyi
F F F F
yiyiyiyi. Oh, oh man they were just going nuts! Their terin’ me apart. You
F FF
know I think it was just about that time that little ditty started goin’
B BB F FF B BB
through my head. I believe it went a little something like this.
F F F F B B B B F F F F B B B B F F F F B B B
“Doooohgetemoffmegettemoffmeooogetemoffgettemoffoooohgetoooohgeooohoooahhh
B F F F F B B B B F F
hohhhiahhooohahahahhhohhhhh!” I ran out onto the street with these flesh
F F F F
eating weasels all over my face, waiving my arms all around and just
F F
runnin’ and runnin’ and runnin’ like a constipated wiener dog. And as luck
F F F F
would have it, that’s exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams, her
F F
name was Zelda. She was a calligraphy enthusiast with a slight overbite
F F F F
and hair the colour of strange peaches. I’ll never forget the very first
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thing she said to me, she said, “hey, you got weasels on your face.”
F F
That’s when I knew it was true love, we were inseparable after that, oh we
F F F F
ate together, we bathed together, we even shared the same piece of mint-
F F F
flavoured dental floss. The world was our burrito. So we got married and
B F B
we bought us a house and had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and
F F F
Superfly. Oh we were so very very very happy, oh ya. But then one fateful
night Zelda said to me, she said, “Sweetie-pumpkin, do you want to join
F FF F B BB F B
the Columbia Record Club?” I said, “Wooooah hold on now baby, I’m
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just not ready for that kind of a commitment.” So we broke up and I never
F F F F F Fm7 B Bm7 F
saw her again but that’s just the way things go, . In A -
F B F Fm7 B Bm7 F
lbuquerque, A - lbuquerque!
E-16-16-16---16-16-16---16------16b16b17b17b17b18b18b-16-13-----------|
B-18-------18---18----18--18-18-18--------------------------16--------|
G--------------------------------------------------------------14-----|
D-----------------------------------------------------------------15--|
A---------------------------------------------------------------------|
E---------------------------------------------------------------------|
E----------------------------------------20p18p16p11-|
B----------------------------------18-16-------------|
G-17-15----18-18-18-16----19-17----------------------|
D------17-------------16-------17--------------------|
A----------------------------------------------------|
E----------------------------------------------------|
F F
Anyway then things really started looking up for me, because about a week
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later I finally achieved my life-long dream. That’s right I got me a part
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time job at the “Sizzler.” I even made employee-of-the-month after I put
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out that grease-fire with my face. Oh ya everyone was pretty jealous of me
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after that. I was getting lota attitude. OK like one time, I was out in
F F F F
the parking lot trying to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil, when
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I see this guy Marty tryin’ to carry a big old sofa up the stairs all by
F F
himself. So I-I say to him, I say, “hey, you want me to help you with
F F F F
that? And Marty he just rolls his eyes and goes, “nooooo I want you to cut
F F B F F F F
off my arms and legs with a chain saw.” So I did. And then he gets all
B B B B F F F F B B B B
indignant on me, he’s like, “hey mad I was just being sarcastic.” Well
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that’s just great, how was I supposed to know that? I’m not a mind reader
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for crying out loud. Besides now he’s got a really cute nickname “Torso
E-20-16-18-17-14-16----------------------------------------|
B-------------------20-16-18-17-13-15----------------------|
F F G-------------------------------------19-15-17-17-13-15----|
Boy”. D-------------------------------------------------------15-| So
A----------------------------------------------------------|
E----------------------------------------------------------|
what’s he complaining about? Say that reminds me of another amusing
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anecdote; this guy comes up to me on the street and tells me he hasn’t had
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a bite in three days. Well I knew what he meant but just to be funny I
F F F F
took a big bite out of his jugular vein, and he’s yelling and screaming
B
and bleeding all over and I’m like, “hey come on don’t you get it?” But he
F F F B B F
just kept rolling around on the sidewalk bleeding and screaming, YAHHHH!
F B F F
OHHHH! AHHHH! And I’m completely missing the irony of the whole situation,
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man some people just can’t take a joke you know? Anyway, um… um… where was
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I? Kinda lost my train of thought. Oh, uh, well oh okay anyway I know it’s
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a roundabout way of saying it but I guess the whole point I’m trying to
F B F B
make is, I, HATE, SAURKROUT! That’s all I’m really trying to say, and by
F B
the way if one day you happen to wake up and find yourself in an
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exsulstential quandary full of woeing and self doubt and wrapped with the
F B F
pain and isolation of you’re pitiful meaningless existence, at least even
B F
take a small bit of comfort in knowing that somewhere out there in this
B F B F B
crazy old mixed up universe of ours, there’s still a little place, called
F Fm7 B Bm7 F B F Fm7 B Bm7 F B F B
A - lbuquerque, A - lbuquerque! Albuquerque, Albuquerque,
F B F B F
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque,
B F B F B F B F F B B F F B B
Albuquerque, I say A, A, L, L, B, B, U, U… QUERQUE! QUERQUE!
F F B B F F B B F F
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque,
B B F F B B F F B B
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque,
F F B B F F B B F F
Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque,
B B F
Albuquerque, Albuquerque,
E-13-13-11-18-16-13-11-13-11/8-6-8-6-4-------1-1-1-1-|
B--------------------------------------1-----1-1-1-1-|
G----------------------------------------3---2-2-2-2-|
D------------------------------------------1/3-3-3-3-| (drum solo)
A--------------------------------------------3-3-3-3-|
E--------------------------------------------1-1-1-1-|
(Belch)
I'm sorry but the last part I couldn't do because it goes too fast and my fingers are sore.
So just play a bunch of notes scaling from the 20th fret to the 1st on the D string and play that
awkward chord with lots of electronic phony stuff attached to it.
Comments, Questions or maybe even Changes (which I highly doubt) send em to
